So I'll have to admit I've been so unbelievably naive this pregnancy. For some odd reason I've had a stick up my butt thinking I'm all high and mighty because I had Graidy "all natural". Now to back track a little to go "all natural" was never the in the birth plan with G, I just happen to have him super quick and didn't have time for anything else. With him I really didn't have an opinion on how to have a baby I just went with what my doctor and other family members suggested/did.
I came in to this second pregnancy with a whole I'm a "Super Mom" attitude and I am going to have this next baby natural too. I did it once, I can do it again, right?? I've had a my birth plan set. Well now that I've been having dead end contractions and been at a 3 for over a week now, I'm starting to change my feelings/thoughts on this whole deal. I'm absolutely miserable, and I've been told I can be induced on the 14th. I have to give them my answer by 5 today if I want to be put on the schedule.
I've researched and researched the pros and cons of being started. You have a way higher chance of having a c-section. I've thought that you shouldn't have pitocin unless your water has already broken and your body isn't contracting. I'm not exactly the "greenest/natural" person around but I hate taking any kind of drug and I hate giving drugs to my kids. These things really have started to not matter now that I'm in this state. I really hate to think that I am being selfish and putting my self first. But I really think I'm okay with Scottlin's birthday being July 14th. I'm most worried about looking like a complete hypocrite and brat for having such strong opinions on all these things and now I'm about ready to go back on my words. Please don't judge me?!
I've always been a decision maker and I rarely regret any decisions I make. This has been so unbelievably hard for me. I've never had such a problem with such a thing. I'm absolutely a control freak and the one time I'm allowed to be in control I'm not so sure I want to be. It is what it is and I have a really good feeling about getting put on the schedule for Thursday. I can always not show up if I change my mind by then right?
1 comments:
you worry too much. no one is going to be thinking you are a brat and no one is going to be judging you..like everything else in life there are pros and cons with every decision you make no matter what it is, granted this is a more serious matter but i think you'll be ok. i am no expert but i have had 4 kids, always had the med to speed up the process for a small amount of time never had any problems except with my last baby..he didn't like it so it was dropping his heart rate and they just took me off..i'm not trying to scare you i promise :] all i mean is if you decide to go ahead with it you can always be taken off it. it usually ends up doing it's purpose without any harm.
good luck!! :]
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